So smart. I wish I'd thought of it. Although I don't know if I have enough anytime minutes.
YouTube - The Luke Johnson Phone Experiment
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
Vomit
"U2-charist": Bono moves in mysterious ways Entertainment Entertainment News Reuters.com
Seriously, I don't think I really need to add much commentary. I can kind of understand it when some small independent protestant church sings U2 in their services...and youth groups can be excused for just not knowing any better...but seriously, this is the official church of England?!?
I think in an effort to incorporate all things truly British into the Anglican church they should pull up the carpet in the sanctuary and put down AstroTurf with football (soccer) markings on it. Many American churches already have concession stands in the foyer. Personally I think "concession" might have dual meaning. Maybe some anti-trendy emergent pastor could write a sermon about how selling coffee in the lobby of the church is a "concession stand" (like in the pro sports arena context) and they are also "concession" "stands" (meaning they've "conceded" to the secular culture of merchandising and selling people things they don't need and that's a poor message to "stand" for).
If it wasn't so cynical I think some mainstream pastors might actually use that idea. If it wasn't so cheesy some emergent pastors might use that idea. Oh well. The religiosity of U2 makes my stomach churn. If the Anglicans really want to spice up their services they should invite princes William and Harry. They could potentially be the head of the church. They might as well use their influence to attract junior high American girls to the flock of Church of England devotees while they're still in their prime.
Somebody should call James Dobson, and see if he'd put George W.'s daughters on the payroll. Just think how righteous it would be to have the head of evangelicals and the head of the republican party solidify their relationship through a feudal exchange of offspring. I bet the Bush daughters could do some guest spots on Adventures in Odyssey and maybe put out a few books on what it's like to drink really hard in college and then sincerely repent so you can help your dad become President while securing for yourself a position that guarantees you won't have to lift a finger for the rest of your life.
"This week on Adventures in Odyssey: Jenna Bush takes a trip in the Imagination Station and learns that Jesus actually turned the water into grape juice at the wedding at Cana. Mr. Whitaker catches Barbara Bush stuffing the ballot box at Whit's End and has a stern talk with her about what Jesus thinks about cheaters."
Seriously, I don't think I really need to add much commentary. I can kind of understand it when some small independent protestant church sings U2 in their services...and youth groups can be excused for just not knowing any better...but seriously, this is the official church of England?!?
I think in an effort to incorporate all things truly British into the Anglican church they should pull up the carpet in the sanctuary and put down AstroTurf with football (soccer) markings on it. Many American churches already have concession stands in the foyer. Personally I think "concession" might have dual meaning. Maybe some anti-trendy emergent pastor could write a sermon about how selling coffee in the lobby of the church is a "concession stand" (like in the pro sports arena context) and they are also "concession" "stands" (meaning they've "conceded" to the secular culture of merchandising and selling people things they don't need and that's a poor message to "stand" for).
If it wasn't so cynical I think some mainstream pastors might actually use that idea. If it wasn't so cheesy some emergent pastors might use that idea. Oh well. The religiosity of U2 makes my stomach churn. If the Anglicans really want to spice up their services they should invite princes William and Harry. They could potentially be the head of the church. They might as well use their influence to attract junior high American girls to the flock of Church of England devotees while they're still in their prime.
Somebody should call James Dobson, and see if he'd put George W.'s daughters on the payroll. Just think how righteous it would be to have the head of evangelicals and the head of the republican party solidify their relationship through a feudal exchange of offspring. I bet the Bush daughters could do some guest spots on Adventures in Odyssey and maybe put out a few books on what it's like to drink really hard in college and then sincerely repent so you can help your dad become President while securing for yourself a position that guarantees you won't have to lift a finger for the rest of your life.
"This week on Adventures in Odyssey: Jenna Bush takes a trip in the Imagination Station and learns that Jesus actually turned the water into grape juice at the wedding at Cana. Mr. Whitaker catches Barbara Bush stuffing the ballot box at Whit's End and has a stern talk with her about what Jesus thinks about cheaters."
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Bandwidth
I was glancing back over my past few posts, and I realized that I don't have many to glance over. This is largely due to a lack of bandwidth. Some of you probably don't know what bandwidth is except that more of it is better than less of it. Allow me to indulge my inner nerd and explain.
Imagine the connection between your computer and the Internet as a two lane highway. In one lane, cars carry information from your computer to the Internet (such as what website you'd like to see), and in the other lane you have cars bringing information to your computer (such as music from www.allofmp3.com). If you aren't sending and receiving very much information then the cars flow down the highway without incident. When you start sending and receiving lots of cars then traffic starts to build up and things slow down. If you build up enough traffic, all the cars pretty much come to a halt.
There are two ways to decrease traffic and increase flow. The first would be to increase the speed limit on the highway. A higher speed limit would allow cars to get from their origin to their destination faster. This works up to a point, but if their are enough cars even the autobahn will get a traffic jam. Eventually, you will need to expand the highway and add more lanes. If you expand the lanes from two to six then multiple cars can travel on the same highway at the same time in the same direction, and all will arrive their faster since they their won't be any traffic build ups.
Alright, now that you understand bandwidth, I need some. I need mental bandwidth. I think my brain is going about as fast as it can go, but I still can't think about all the things I need to think about. During the school semester, I spend so much time studying that it my brain is in traffic jams pretty much every minute of the day. With school taking up so much of my mental capacity, any other distraction can easily bring my mind to a bumper to bumper standstill.
Currently, I've got a situation at school I'm trying to resolve (my professor flunked me for not formatting my paper correctly), and I'm trying to keep up with my reading. Add to that a part-time job, a wife, a dog, and an ice storm that my school refuses to cancel class for and my brain can barely keep my vital organs functioning, much less think about things I'd like to think about or come up with anything interesting for this blog.
Anyway, my brain is shutting down now. Goodbye.
Imagine the connection between your computer and the Internet as a two lane highway. In one lane, cars carry information from your computer to the Internet (such as what website you'd like to see), and in the other lane you have cars bringing information to your computer (such as music from www.allofmp3.com). If you aren't sending and receiving very much information then the cars flow down the highway without incident. When you start sending and receiving lots of cars then traffic starts to build up and things slow down. If you build up enough traffic, all the cars pretty much come to a halt.
There are two ways to decrease traffic and increase flow. The first would be to increase the speed limit on the highway. A higher speed limit would allow cars to get from their origin to their destination faster. This works up to a point, but if their are enough cars even the autobahn will get a traffic jam. Eventually, you will need to expand the highway and add more lanes. If you expand the lanes from two to six then multiple cars can travel on the same highway at the same time in the same direction, and all will arrive their faster since they their won't be any traffic build ups.
Alright, now that you understand bandwidth, I need some. I need mental bandwidth. I think my brain is going about as fast as it can go, but I still can't think about all the things I need to think about. During the school semester, I spend so much time studying that it my brain is in traffic jams pretty much every minute of the day. With school taking up so much of my mental capacity, any other distraction can easily bring my mind to a bumper to bumper standstill.
Currently, I've got a situation at school I'm trying to resolve (my professor flunked me for not formatting my paper correctly), and I'm trying to keep up with my reading. Add to that a part-time job, a wife, a dog, and an ice storm that my school refuses to cancel class for and my brain can barely keep my vital organs functioning, much less think about things I'd like to think about or come up with anything interesting for this blog.
Anyway, my brain is shutting down now. Goodbye.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Hibernation
Hello Fluffy Thought fans! I'm glad to be back. I realize it has been a while since I last posted any fluffy thoughts. November and December have traditionally been months when I mentally hibernate. Being in grad school requires me to shut down part of my brain and reserve my energy so that I can cope with the stress of finals. In case you were wondering, this semester I managed to cope better than past semesters. My eye only twitched for about a week and I only had to take sleeping pills for two weeks. Overall, I'd say it was a success, although I won't find out my grades until February.
Anyway, since I was intellectually dormant during the holiday season, I'd be negligent if I didn't pause to consider the true meaning of at least one of the holidays. Allow me to jump on the Happy Holidays v. Merry Christmas bandwagon.
Every good conservative Christian (Methodists, this doesn't include you) should proudly greet friends and strangers with a cheerful, "Happy Holidays." That's right, I recommend abandoning Merry Christmas for most encounters. Christmas is a wonderful and important holiday. It is steeped in tradition. It has its own songs, its own plays and musicals, its own decorations, its own foods, and even its own mythical beings (Santa, Rudolph, etc.). I think Christmas will hardly be forgotten if "Merry Christmas" is dropped for "Happy Holidays."
The most important reason to say Happy Holidays, however, is to remind people that there is more than just Christmas to celebrate. In fact, probably the third most important holiday comes right after Christmas, yet only a handful of people celebrate it. To which holiday do I refer? Not Hanukkah, not Kwanzaa. It occurs every year on January 1st. No, not New Years day. Who cares about New Years day?
The holiday that deserves great reverence yet goes practically unnoticed is The Feast of the Holy Prepuce. That's right. I'll type it again: The Feast of the Holy Prepuce. The Feast of the Holy Prepuce is a Christian holiday that occurs every year on January 1st. The feast celebrates the flesh of Jesus that remains on earth. What flesh of Jesus could remain on earth you ask? Well, if you are under 13 years old I ask you to stop reading and go IM some of your friends now. Thanks.
Well, if Jesus was Jewish then when he was eight days old he would have been taken to what we would now call Rabbis. They would have removed some of Jesus' skin in a Biblical ceremony called circumcision. That skin is called the prepuce. The Feast of the Holy Prepuce has been celebrated by Christians for centuries. For hundreds of years followers of Christ have recognized that the flesh of Christ remaining on earth is significant. Unfortunately, the Holy Prepuce went missing in 1983, so you can't make any pilgrimages to it. It's also unfortunate because it might have contained some viable DNA that could have been used to clone another Jesus. That's a subject for another time.
This neglected holiday deserves some recognition. I think Christians should start a Prepuce Eve service on December 31st where we sings songs to the Holy Prepuce and have a reenactment. The costumes from the nativity scene could be reused. Actually it'd be similar to the nativity reenactment except there would be no shepherd or animals and somebody would need to play the Rabbi and hold a plastic knife. Christian bookstores could sell additional figurines for nativity sets. They could issue a Rabbi with a little knife in one hand. I don't think it'd be a good idea to make a ceramic prepuce since it'd be so small it'd probably get lost...except for those life size nativities.
Instead of exchanging gifts, the head of the household could roast a turkey. As he or she carved the turkey he or she could explain to the children that just as the turkey is flesh and can be carved, so Jesus was/is flesh and was circumcised. Often times children think of Jesus as more God than human, and I think adding this ritual would help bring home the fact that Jesus was fully man as well as fully God. Each family would of course start their own Holy Prepuce traditions.
Anyway, next holiday season when you go to church, start telling people "happy holidays." When you see that shocked and offended look on their face, tell them the story of baby Jesus, just eight days old, and how we should be celebrating his prepuce. You might even invite them over for your turkey carving.
Anyway, since I was intellectually dormant during the holiday season, I'd be negligent if I didn't pause to consider the true meaning of at least one of the holidays. Allow me to jump on the Happy Holidays v. Merry Christmas bandwagon.
Every good conservative Christian (Methodists, this doesn't include you) should proudly greet friends and strangers with a cheerful, "Happy Holidays." That's right, I recommend abandoning Merry Christmas for most encounters. Christmas is a wonderful and important holiday. It is steeped in tradition. It has its own songs, its own plays and musicals, its own decorations, its own foods, and even its own mythical beings (Santa, Rudolph, etc.). I think Christmas will hardly be forgotten if "Merry Christmas" is dropped for "Happy Holidays."
The most important reason to say Happy Holidays, however, is to remind people that there is more than just Christmas to celebrate. In fact, probably the third most important holiday comes right after Christmas, yet only a handful of people celebrate it. To which holiday do I refer? Not Hanukkah, not Kwanzaa. It occurs every year on January 1st. No, not New Years day. Who cares about New Years day?
The holiday that deserves great reverence yet goes practically unnoticed is The Feast of the Holy Prepuce. That's right. I'll type it again: The Feast of the Holy Prepuce. The Feast of the Holy Prepuce is a Christian holiday that occurs every year on January 1st. The feast celebrates the flesh of Jesus that remains on earth. What flesh of Jesus could remain on earth you ask? Well, if you are under 13 years old I ask you to stop reading and go IM some of your friends now. Thanks.
Well, if Jesus was Jewish then when he was eight days old he would have been taken to what we would now call Rabbis. They would have removed some of Jesus' skin in a Biblical ceremony called circumcision. That skin is called the prepuce. The Feast of the Holy Prepuce has been celebrated by Christians for centuries. For hundreds of years followers of Christ have recognized that the flesh of Christ remaining on earth is significant. Unfortunately, the Holy Prepuce went missing in 1983, so you can't make any pilgrimages to it. It's also unfortunate because it might have contained some viable DNA that could have been used to clone another Jesus. That's a subject for another time.
This neglected holiday deserves some recognition. I think Christians should start a Prepuce Eve service on December 31st where we sings songs to the Holy Prepuce and have a reenactment. The costumes from the nativity scene could be reused. Actually it'd be similar to the nativity reenactment except there would be no shepherd or animals and somebody would need to play the Rabbi and hold a plastic knife. Christian bookstores could sell additional figurines for nativity sets. They could issue a Rabbi with a little knife in one hand. I don't think it'd be a good idea to make a ceramic prepuce since it'd be so small it'd probably get lost...except for those life size nativities.
Instead of exchanging gifts, the head of the household could roast a turkey. As he or she carved the turkey he or she could explain to the children that just as the turkey is flesh and can be carved, so Jesus was/is flesh and was circumcised. Often times children think of Jesus as more God than human, and I think adding this ritual would help bring home the fact that Jesus was fully man as well as fully God. Each family would of course start their own Holy Prepuce traditions.
Anyway, next holiday season when you go to church, start telling people "happy holidays." When you see that shocked and offended look on their face, tell them the story of baby Jesus, just eight days old, and how we should be celebrating his prepuce. You might even invite them over for your turkey carving.
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