Purch

Well, this was going to be a really cool entry. I've been trying to figure out how to embed a video from another site onto my site. I can't make it work.

Anyway, normally I can't stand churches that double as retail outlets. I want to vomit when I see bookstores in churches selling t-shirts, cds, and books with Christian themes. It makes me very uncomfortable to know that a church is engaging in selling the same lame Christian merchandise that Christian bookstores sell. I think the Church should be above that.

I don't have quite as strong of a reaction to the fake (or real) Starbucks that many churches now have. I'm still uncomfortable with the church selling stuff on Sundays. I think free coffee that's been sitting out for hours is fine. I recently found this article on a church in Australia that's changing my mind.

www.reuters.com/news/video?videoId=69666&videoChannel=4

I think if I could have a pint before or after church that I might get more into the service. Maybe not. Maybe I should be just as repulsed by the pub as I am by the Starbucks. I don't know.

Happy Halloween

Dichotomy of Gifts

Last weekend my wife went to a friend's child's first birthday party. First birthday parties are funny in themselves since the birthday boy or girl really doesn't have any idea what's going on. Typically they're really about the parents of the child rather than the child. Anyway, my wife an the other adults were standing around while the birthday boy opened his presents. Well, the mother of the birthday boy opened the presents.

Most of the presents were baby clothes, baby shoes, and other miniaturized items. However, the time came to open the gift that had been mailed by the aunt and uncle who were unable to attend. Inside the package, what did they find? A box of animal crackers. Most of the adults thought this was a lame or stupid gift, including my wife. I however, think its brilliant. Of all the gifts the child received, the animal crackers were the only ones he could appreciate and enjoy. The birthday boy didn't care about shoes or clothes or onezies. He cared about eating cookies.

On the same weekend as the birthday party, I was home sick, trying to write a paper for school. While my wife was out and about, she went to another friend's garage sale. She decided that she would show me what a loving wife she is by buying me a present at the sale. What do you think she bought me? An Xbox. Oh yes, the original Xbox.

Those of you that know me know that I'm a video game junkie. My wife and I had discussed getting a game system so that we could play together. I, of course, thought this was a great idea, but I was also wise enough to know not to buy one. I did not want a game system to be something that I brought into my marriage. I'm happy to have Rachael bring it in though.

I've set limitations on myself, such as not playing during the week when I have studying to do. I'm also excited to play Xbox with my wife. I think the best part about game systems is playing against another. She's not very good yet...but she's getting better. I ordered some used games that I think she'll like, such as AMPED!!!!! And we'll definitely get some Dead or Alive III going...maybe some Tiger Woods golf. I haven't bought Soul Caliber yet...that one will have to wait.

So basically I'm comparing myself to the one year old at the birthday party. My wife is playing the role of the distant aunt and uncle who buys presents the receiver will appreciate, rather than things that are probably good for them. I'm hoping that the Xbox will provide quality time for my wife and I to have fun together. Seriously. Some of the best times I had in college were crowded around my roommates monster of a T.V. playing Dead or Alive against roommates. I think people are too quick to write off video games as wasted time. Of course, I'm not exactly a neutral...but who is.

On the road again

Well,
I've started my third and final year of law school. It feels a little different than the previous two years...mostly tedious. The material is still interesting, but the pace is boring. It's no longer overwhelming, just time consuming. More than that, this summer I started wanting to read for fun again. Now that school is back, I don't have the time or the mental energy. I was about to start some good books too. Well...maybe just Harry Potter.

Anyway, I'm feeling pretty good. I've started to give more serious thought to where I want to live and work after school. Right now it's looking like Texas. I've got family and some friends there...and its a big state, probably with lots of job opportunities. Everyone who reads this blog is probably in the Chicago area. I like it there too. I'm not sure I want to take the bar in Illinois and then have to find a job there...and not have the opportunity to live near family. I think in a few years my wife and I will start having kids. We'd like our kids to grow up close to family. Anyway, that's about all I've got.

Sierra Leone

Here's some pictures of Sierra Leone. The trip was interesting. The people there have nothing. Extreme poverty looks pretty much the same in any country. The only difference in Sierra Leone was that the everyone you see is in poverty. You can't drive to the nice side of town. There isn't one. There are a few reach people, mostly foreigners, 95% of the Sierra Leonians live in shacks with no electricity, water, etc. The country side is beautiful. It's basically a rain forest climate with a rainy season and a dry season. We were there at the beginning of the rainy season.

Looking down Freetown from the embassy

About 1,000,000 people live in Freetown

The white building on the hill is a picture of the U.S. embassy. It's illegal to take a picture of it...at least the local police don't like it.

Waterfall (duh)

They have beautiful beaches.

One of the better paved roads


In town

Decisions

I've decided that I go to church. What I mean is that I decided that from now on I am going to be the type of person who goes to church. In the two years that I've been married my wife and I have been to church less than 10 times. We went a few times right a first. We tried out a couple of different places. We just didn't keep going.

We finally decided that we'd had enough of not going to church. So now I go. I go every Sunday. So far I've been two Sundays in a row. I think I actually like it now. I even go to Sunday school.

I realize that my decision to go to church isn't really that interesting. It's significant to me though. I think this is the first time I'm going to church without guilt or the accountability of another. My wife works every other Sunday, so twice a month I'm going by myself.

Well, school starts in about three weeks. I'm dreading that. It's my last year though. I'll post some Africa pictures later.

Travel

Tomorrow I leave for Africa. My dad, step-mom, and sister have been living in Sierra Leone for the last 3 or so years. They're actually moving back to the U.S. this summer, so my wife and I are going across the ocean to see what they've been doing. It should be interesting to say the least. Sierra Leone is arguably the poorest country in the world.

It's kind of hard to be excited about visiting a place where everyone is hungry. There's a certain amount of guilt that comes from visiting underdeveloped countries. You can't help but feel inconvenienced by the fact that you have to drink bottled water and the electricity doesn't always work. I'll get annoyed while I'm there by the lack of modern conveniences, but I'll also feel guilty. I'll realize that I should be grateful for what I have. I might even vow to stop complaining once I get back to the states.

Normally on a trip like this my guilt would be assuaged by the fact that I'd be doing mission work. You know, usually you're running a vacation Bible school for little kids or helping someone build or repair a church. This time I'm going mainly to observe. I don't think I'll be helping much at all besides putting a little money into their economy.

Anyway, I'm posting a few pictures from my trip to Nova Scotia and New York this summer. This summer's turning into a summer full of trips. In August I'll be going to Colorado. I'd rather be going to Chicago...but my in-laws are paying for the Colorado trip, so I shouldn't complain. Oh well.

Hommon / Coly

So I went to church this weekend at my in-laws church in my home town. It's a good church, but usually I don't get too much out of the service because I'm too busy laughing at the oddities and silliness. I'd be a better person if I'd just learn to worship without so much cynicism. Anyway, they had a guest pastor who was actually pretty good. He taught out of Ezekiel, which got my attention.

I actually don't remember what his point was; however, the verse he taught from made me think. Ezekiel 22:26 "Her priests have done violence to my law and have profaned my holy things. They have made no distinction between the holy and the common, neither have they taught the difference between the unclean and the clean, and they have disregarded my Sabbaths, so that I am profaned among them."

I realize the dangers of focusing on one Old Testament verse out of context. The verse just got me wondering if there is still a significant distinction between the common and the holy. Some things are clearly not holy, i.e. sin. I'm having a hard time coming up with common things though. I tend to think that almost anything can be holy. For instance, I like to think that God gave us humor, so when I make a joke making fun of the silly things people do in church, that's holy. I like to think the Jesus would be making the same kind of jokes while still appreciating the effort the churchgoers are making.

I'd like to think that there are holy things outside of church...nature for instance. I like to sit outside and just enjoy nature. I'd like to think that when I appreciate the beauty of nature I'm contemplating God's complexity and that contemplation is holy. Maybe anything can be holy so long as the person doing it or enjoying it recognizes that their activity is a gift from God.

My lax view of holiness doesn't really fit with the verse. If I was raised in a Catholic, Orthodox, or even just a higher protestant church I could probably come up with lots of holy things that were easily distinguishable from common things. I don't know. I feel a little like Walt Whitman...maybe I should just list off everything I see and proclaim it to be holy. Being a Whitman Christian sort of makes me queasy. Maybe if I went to church more often I wouldn't have this problem. My thoughts are pretty fluffy on this one.

Relief

I'm relieved. I just finished my 4th semester of law school. Finals are over. The weight of all those textbooks has been lifted off my shoulders. I don't have to study a single page until August. All that brain power that I was using for school can now be used for more important matters.

With all this free time and energy, I've decided to make some summertime resolutions. The following are my goals for the summer, in no particular order:

1. Take some awesome pictures on my trips (I think I'll be traveling to New York, Nova Scotia, Colorado, and West Africa)

2. Lose 30lbs (It's time I walked a little lighter)

3. Help a certain friend of mine realize that free will is antithetical to salvation and a subtle form of heresy that, like fast food, tastes really good but isn't healthy and stunts your growth (If I can convince my friend, I think she can convince her husband (who's a little more stubborn than she is))

4. Read something interesting but not too intellectual

5. Do as much grilling as possible

6. Blog about the above


If I can accomplish those things, I think my summer will be a good one. I'm also working on a continual resolution to attend church more regularly. Anyway, I'm still thinking about where spiritual authority should come from for Protestants. Maybe there is not spiritual authority. That makes me uncomfortable though.

Authority

I'm sure most of my loyal readers have given up on me every posting anything again. Well, I'm in the middle of final exams, so I don't have enough time to think about things to post. I was mulling over a thought that's haunted me for a few years. I'd like anyone who reads this to post an answer to the question:

"How can a protestant know what Biblical truth is?"

I really would like to know what you think. If you're reading this and you post an answer, get some of your friends to post answers also. Thanks.

"Aspire"

Village sells street names to raise cash Oddly Enough Reuters

On behalf of my fluffy thoughts, I'm now accepting donations. It has come to my attention that a town in Budapest is offering to name its streets after anyone willing to pay. Well, Fluffy Thoughts is willing. All we need is the cash (or check, credit card, debit card, etc). Seeing as how I have already invested all my few and precious resouces into Fluffy Thoughts, I need your support in this effort.

I know what you're thinking, "Oh no, not another fundraising campaign. Is this cause even legitimate?" Don't be alarmed. Fluffy Thoughts is definitely legitimate. To prove our legitimacy, Fluffy Thoughts has adopted all the necessary elements for a legitimate fundraising campaign.

1. We have a fantastic title for our campaign: "Aspire". "Aspire" captures the idea of reaching up toward the clouds (which are fluffy) while simultaneously it embodies a sense of goal orientedness. Aspire to think fluffily; Aspire to make sacrifices so you can give more to Fluffy Thoughts fundraising: "Aspire"

2. Every good title needs a good slogan or mantra that can be repeated to yourself when you start to have doubts that you are giving your money away to a sham. The "Aspire" mantra is, "Fluffy Thoughts, where everybody knows its name." When we raise enough money, everyone (that is everyone in a tiny town in Budapest) will know the name Fluffy Thoughts. Imagine it, some Budapestian's address will be "110 N. Fluffy Thoughts Ave." The slogan also has an advantage of bringing back those fond memories of the TV show "Cheers", and like "Cheers", fundraising campaigns last much longer than anyone expects.

3. "Aspire" also has the essential element of clearly defined goals which seem unreachable, but we will continue to tell you that they are reasonable despite what common sense may tell you. "What are 'Aspire's' goals?" you ask. Well, our goals are broken down into clearly defined phases which are so complicated that you won't want to know all the details.
Phase 1 - In order to compile sufficient "materials" to help "Aspire" truly be successful, we need to raise 5,000.00 (the dollar sign has been deliberately omitted because the number looks much less painful without it). Phase 1 will cover "administrative" costs such as flying me to Budapest to take pictures of potential streets that could bare the Fluffy Thoughts' name
Phase 2 - 10,000.00. This will cover marketing of the name "Fluffy Thoughts" in Budapest and neighboring countries. The "Aspire" committee has determined that our efforts will be much more successful if we "soften" up the locals before actually purchasing the street.
Phase 3 - 50,000.00. Yes, I realize that this is a large sum of money, but is any number too big for God (that's right, God is a supporter of Fluffy Thoughts' "Aspire" campaign). The answer is "no". If God is for us, who could possible resist giving us money? Besides, you'll already be in the habit of giving a large portion of your income to "Aspire" by the time we get to phase three, so 50,000.00 really won't seem like that much money. Phase 3 will cover the actual costs of purchasing the street name plus some supplemental income for the "Aspire" committee and their strenuous efforts in this campaign.

If you can, please join us tomorrow night where we will have a time of worship and prayer followed by a sermon titled, "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands, including your income." You should receive your pledge cards in the mail soon. I invite you to give generously to "Aspire" and make this aspiration a reality.

Please make all check payable to "Fluffy Thoughts: Aspire Campaign"

YouTube - The Luke Johnson Phone Experiment

So smart. I wish I'd thought of it. Although I don't know if I have enough anytime minutes.

YouTube - The Luke Johnson Phone Experiment

Vomit

"U2-charist": Bono moves in mysterious ways Entertainment Entertainment News Reuters.com

Seriously, I don't think I really need to add much commentary. I can kind of understand it when some small independent protestant church sings U2 in their services...and youth groups can be excused for just not knowing any better...but seriously, this is the official church of England?!?

I think in an effort to incorporate all things truly British into the Anglican church they should pull up the carpet in the sanctuary and put down AstroTurf with football (soccer) markings on it. Many American churches already have concession stands in the foyer. Personally I think "concession" might have dual meaning. Maybe some anti-trendy emergent pastor could write a sermon about how selling coffee in the lobby of the church is a "concession stand" (like in the pro sports arena context) and they are also "concession" "stands" (meaning they've "conceded" to the secular culture of merchandising and selling people things they don't need and that's a poor message to "stand" for).

If it wasn't so cynical I think some mainstream pastors might actually use that idea. If it wasn't so cheesy some emergent pastors might use that idea. Oh well. The religiosity of U2 makes my stomach churn. If the Anglicans really want to spice up their services they should invite princes William and Harry. They could potentially be the head of the church. They might as well use their influence to attract junior high American girls to the flock of Church of England devotees while they're still in their prime.

Somebody should call James Dobson, and see if he'd put George W.'s daughters on the payroll. Just think how righteous it would be to have the head of evangelicals and the head of the republican party solidify their relationship through a feudal exchange of offspring. I bet the Bush daughters could do some guest spots on Adventures in Odyssey and maybe put out a few books on what it's like to drink really hard in college and then sincerely repent so you can help your dad become President while securing for yourself a position that guarantees you won't have to lift a finger for the rest of your life.

"This week on Adventures in Odyssey: Jenna Bush takes a trip in the Imagination Station and learns that Jesus actually turned the water into grape juice at the wedding at Cana. Mr. Whitaker catches Barbara Bush stuffing the ballot box at Whit's End and has a stern talk with her about what Jesus thinks about cheaters."

Slain in the Spirit

ysmarko

My favorite is the machine gun effect.

Bandwidth

I was glancing back over my past few posts, and I realized that I don't have many to glance over. This is largely due to a lack of bandwidth. Some of you probably don't know what bandwidth is except that more of it is better than less of it. Allow me to indulge my inner nerd and explain.

Imagine the connection between your computer and the Internet as a two lane highway. In one lane, cars carry information from your computer to the Internet (such as what website you'd like to see), and in the other lane you have cars bringing information to your computer (such as music from www.allofmp3.com). If you aren't sending and receiving very much information then the cars flow down the highway without incident. When you start sending and receiving lots of cars then traffic starts to build up and things slow down. If you build up enough traffic, all the cars pretty much come to a halt.

There are two ways to decrease traffic and increase flow. The first would be to increase the speed limit on the highway. A higher speed limit would allow cars to get from their origin to their destination faster. This works up to a point, but if their are enough cars even the autobahn will get a traffic jam. Eventually, you will need to expand the highway and add more lanes. If you expand the lanes from two to six then multiple cars can travel on the same highway at the same time in the same direction, and all will arrive their faster since they their won't be any traffic build ups.

Alright, now that you understand bandwidth, I need some. I need mental bandwidth. I think my brain is going about as fast as it can go, but I still can't think about all the things I need to think about. During the school semester, I spend so much time studying that it my brain is in traffic jams pretty much every minute of the day. With school taking up so much of my mental capacity, any other distraction can easily bring my mind to a bumper to bumper standstill.

Currently, I've got a situation at school I'm trying to resolve (my professor flunked me for not formatting my paper correctly), and I'm trying to keep up with my reading. Add to that a part-time job, a wife, a dog, and an ice storm that my school refuses to cancel class for and my brain can barely keep my vital organs functioning, much less think about things I'd like to think about or come up with anything interesting for this blog.

Anyway, my brain is shutting down now. Goodbye.

Hibernation

Hello Fluffy Thought fans! I'm glad to be back. I realize it has been a while since I last posted any fluffy thoughts. November and December have traditionally been months when I mentally hibernate. Being in grad school requires me to shut down part of my brain and reserve my energy so that I can cope with the stress of finals. In case you were wondering, this semester I managed to cope better than past semesters. My eye only twitched for about a week and I only had to take sleeping pills for two weeks. Overall, I'd say it was a success, although I won't find out my grades until February.

Anyway, since I was intellectually dormant during the holiday season, I'd be negligent if I didn't pause to consider the true meaning of at least one of the holidays. Allow me to jump on the Happy Holidays v. Merry Christmas bandwagon.

Every good conservative Christian (Methodists, this doesn't include you) should proudly greet friends and strangers with a cheerful, "Happy Holidays." That's right, I recommend abandoning Merry Christmas for most encounters. Christmas is a wonderful and important holiday. It is steeped in tradition. It has its own songs, its own plays and musicals, its own decorations, its own foods, and even its own mythical beings (Santa, Rudolph, etc.). I think Christmas will hardly be forgotten if "Merry Christmas" is dropped for "Happy Holidays."

The most important reason to say Happy Holidays, however, is to remind people that there is more than just Christmas to celebrate. In fact, probably the third most important holiday comes right after Christmas, yet only a handful of people celebrate it. To which holiday do I refer? Not Hanukkah, not Kwanzaa. It occurs every year on January 1st. No, not New Years day. Who cares about New Years day?

The holiday that deserves great reverence yet goes practically unnoticed is The Feast of the Holy Prepuce. That's right. I'll type it again: The Feast of the Holy Prepuce. The Feast of the Holy Prepuce is a Christian holiday that occurs every year on January 1st. The feast celebrates the flesh of Jesus that remains on earth. What flesh of Jesus could remain on earth you ask? Well, if you are under 13 years old I ask you to stop reading and go IM some of your friends now. Thanks.

Well, if Jesus was Jewish then when he was eight days old he would have been taken to what we would now call Rabbis. They would have removed some of Jesus' skin in a Biblical ceremony called circumcision. That skin is called the prepuce. The Feast of the Holy Prepuce has been celebrated by Christians for centuries. For hundreds of years followers of Christ have recognized that the flesh of Christ remaining on earth is significant. Unfortunately, the Holy Prepuce went missing in 1983, so you can't make any pilgrimages to it. It's also unfortunate because it might have contained some viable DNA that could have been used to clone another Jesus. That's a subject for another time.

This neglected holiday deserves some recognition. I think Christians should start a Prepuce Eve service on December 31st where we sings songs to the Holy Prepuce and have a reenactment. The costumes from the nativity scene could be reused. Actually it'd be similar to the nativity reenactment except there would be no shepherd or animals and somebody would need to play the Rabbi and hold a plastic knife. Christian bookstores could sell additional figurines for nativity sets. They could issue a Rabbi with a little knife in one hand. I don't think it'd be a good idea to make a ceramic prepuce since it'd be so small it'd probably get lost...except for those life size nativities.

Instead of exchanging gifts, the head of the household could roast a turkey. As he or she carved the turkey he or she could explain to the children that just as the turkey is flesh and can be carved, so Jesus was/is flesh and was circumcised. Often times children think of Jesus as more God than human, and I think adding this ritual would help bring home the fact that Jesus was fully man as well as fully God. Each family would of course start their own Holy Prepuce traditions.

Anyway, next holiday season when you go to church, start telling people "happy holidays." When you see that shocked and offended look on their face, tell them the story of baby Jesus, just eight days old, and how we should be celebrating his prepuce. You might even invite them over for your turkey carving.