Fluffy Thought

Bar Review

2008-06-12T07:42:00.004-05:00

I graduated from law school. Who woulda thought. By next Friday I should find out if I actually passed all my classes last semester. If I did, I'll be Dr. Fluffythought. Or, as I prefer, alaputman juris doctor. Lawyers don't go by doctor, but I guess I could if I wanted to. Anyway.

I'm taking a six week long review course for the Texas bar exam. I go to class everyday and then come home and study until bed time. It's actually more studying than law school. The exam is at the end of July. I feel a lot like a worker ant who can't think for himself. He just keeps working until he dies. I thought I'd illustrate this thought with a picture of some ants I took yesterday when I was taking a study break.

Of course, the ants were getting under the roof, so we poisoned them. They suffered and died in a matter of minutes. I'd prefer not to be poisoned. I would appreciate all the prayers I can get beseeching God to give me supernatural smarts so I can pass the bar exam.

At Least I Have My Health

2008-04-24T14:04:00.007-05:00

I have one class left in law school. Just one. Only an hour and 15 minutes of lecture separate me from happiness. Well, not really, but it is exciting to be so close to the end.

I realize that everyone who reads this blog (I'm assuming there are two or more of you) may not have the same reason to celebrate as I do. In fact, my celebration will be short lived. I have four finals and an entire summer of studying for the bar exam. Still, there are those little things in life we can all take notice of that make our days seem just a little bit brighter.

In particular, our health. "At least you have your health" is a sort of last ditch cliche. but I found an article that made me think twice about it. I think I'll start saying, "At least a witchdoctor isn't after you." Anyway, enjoy:

Witchdoctor

Almost Done

2008-04-18T13:54:00.001-05:00

I'm almost done with law school. Graduation is May 17. Who's excited? I'm excited. Seriously. Maybe after graduation I'll have free thoughts to share.

Obligation

2008-02-26T15:59:00.007-06:00

I hate obligation. My life is one freakin obligation after another. Almost every minute of every day is mandatory.

Here's a typical Tuesday
7:00am - Wake up
7:30am - Read (for school)
9:00am - Go to class
12:45pm - go home, change clothes, each lunch
1:30pm - go to work
5:00pm - go home, wash dishes, cook dinner, read more
8:00pm - eat dinner when my wife gets home
10:30pm - go to bed

So I realize that in the grand scheme of things I've got it pretty good. I don't have to hunt down my food with a spear. I don't have to spend much time worrying about whether a neighboring lord will get bored and use his army to invade my land and rape and pillage. I don't even really have to worry about being blown up by some radical religous nut.

Still though, I feel like my life is one big grind. After I take the bar exam in July, I'm hoping to do what I want to do.

In case my whining isn't what you were hoping to read, check this out: Wizard Review

By the way, I'm thinking about substitute teaching in the fall while I wait for my bar results. Any comments or suggestions?

Toxic

2008-01-28T11:45:00.000-06:00

I was reminiscing about good times. It gave me the urge to search the web for a video of one of my favorite covers. The video isn't the best, but it's the best audio I could find on youtube.

Juno

2008-01-10T15:18:00.000-06:00

So, I've been obsessing about this movie since I saw it last week. I love it, and I want to go see it again in theatres. If you haven't seen it, you should. Not exactly a kid friendly flim, but definetly worth seeing. Its got a fantastic cast full of actors that I already liked from other films.

I think the primary reason I like it is because the main character, Juno, reminds me of me...well, at least it reminds me of the person I'd like to be (minus being pregnant). She's smart and sarcastice but still a generally "good" person. Anyway, I won't go in to an in depth analysis of her character, but she's very likeable. Go see it.

Just One More

2008-01-02T10:31:00.000-06:00

So I've got just one more semester of law school left. It won't be any easier, but it feels good knowing there's an end. It's hard to explain how truly hellish law school is, and I won't bother to try now. Sorry to the few of you who read this for not posting anything for a while.

Right now I'm trying to process my New Year's Eve experience. My wife and I got together with some friends to play games. Alcohol was present, which I think is a wonderful thing. One of the attendees (not me) ended up very intoxicated. I found out later that the person probably should have gone to the hospital. I think his/her alcohol level was in the toxic range.

I'm not really sure how I feel about this. This person is a friend. The next day the friend made comments like, "I just couldn't stop drinking." This concerns me. I think alcohol is good, but drinking in excess is bad. I've got a lot of alcoholics in my family, so I'm sensitive when I hear people say they can't stop drinking.

I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on what a Christians approach to drinking should be. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed the Feast of the Holy Prepuce.

Purch

2007-10-31T10:55:00.000-05:00

Well, this was going to be a really cool entry. I've been trying to figure out how to embed a video from another site onto my site. I can't make it work.

Anyway, normally I can't stand churches that double as retail outlets. I want to vomit when I see bookstores in churches selling t-shirts, cds, and books with Christian themes. It makes me very uncomfortable to know that a church is engaging in selling the same lame Christian merchandise that Christian bookstores sell. I think the Church should be above that.

I don't have quite as strong of a reaction to the fake (or real) Starbucks that many churches now have. I'm still uncomfortable with the church selling stuff on Sundays. I think free coffee that's been sitting out for hours is fine. I recently found this article on a church in Australia that's changing my mind.

www.reuters.com/news/video?videoId=69666&videoChannel=4

I think if I could have a pint before or after church that I might get more into the service. Maybe not. Maybe I should be just as repulsed by the pub as I am by the Starbucks. I don't know.

Happy Halloween

Dichotomy of Gifts

2007-10-05T12:44:00.000-05:00

Last weekend my wife went to a friend's child's first birthday party. First birthday parties are funny in themselves since the birthday boy or girl really doesn't have any idea what's going on. Typically they're really about the parents of the child rather than the child. Anyway, my wife an the other adults were standing around while the birthday boy opened his presents. Well, the mother of the birthday boy opened the presents.

Most of the presents were baby clothes, baby shoes, and other miniaturized items. However, the time came to open the gift that had been mailed by the aunt and uncle who were unable to attend. Inside the package, what did they find? A box of animal crackers. Most of the adults thought this was a lame or stupid gift, including my wife. I however, think its brilliant. Of all the gifts the child received, the animal crackers were the only ones he could appreciate and enjoy. The birthday boy didn't care about shoes or clothes or onezies. He cared about eating cookies.

On the same weekend as the birthday party, I was home sick, trying to write a paper for school. While my wife was out and about, she went to another friend's garage sale. She decided that she would show me what a loving wife she is by buying me a present at the sale. What do you think she bought me? An Xbox. Oh yes, the original Xbox.

Those of you that know me know that I'm a video game junkie. My wife and I had discussed getting a game system so that we could play together. I, of course, thought this was a great idea, but I was also wise enough to know not to buy one. I did not want a game system to be something that I brought into my marriage. I'm happy to have Rachael bring it in though.

I've set limitations on myself, such as not playing during the week when I have studying to do. I'm also excited to play Xbox with my wife. I think the best part about game systems is playing against another. She's not very good yet...but she's getting better. I ordered some used games that I think she'll like, such as AMPED!!!!! And we'll definitely get some Dead or Alive III going...maybe some Tiger Woods golf. I haven't bought Soul Caliber yet...that one will have to wait.

So basically I'm comparing myself to the one year old at the birthday party. My wife is playing the role of the distant aunt and uncle who buys presents the receiver will appreciate, rather than things that are probably good for them. I'm hoping that the Xbox will provide quality time for my wife and I to have fun together. Seriously. Some of the best times I had in college were crowded around my roommates monster of a T.V. playing Dead or Alive against roommates. I think people are too quick to write off video games as wasted time. Of course, I'm not exactly a neutral...but who is.

On the road again

2007-08-31T10:05:00.000-05:00

Well,
I've started my third and final year of law school. It feels a little different than the previous two years...mostly tedious. The material is still interesting, but the pace is boring. It's no longer overwhelming, just time consuming. More than that, this summer I started wanting to read for fun again. Now that school is back, I don't have the time or the mental energy. I was about to start some good books too. Well...maybe just Harry Potter.

Anyway, I'm feeling pretty good. I've started to give more serious thought to where I want to live and work after school. Right now it's looking like Texas. I've got family and some friends there...and its a big state, probably with lots of job opportunities. Everyone who reads this blog is probably in the Chicago area. I like it there too. I'm not sure I want to take the bar in Illinois and then have to find a job there...and not have the opportunity to live near family. I think in a few years my wife and I will start having kids. We'd like our kids to grow up close to family. Anyway, that's about all I've got.

Sierra Leone

2007-07-31T13:31:00.000-05:00

Here's some pictures of Sierra Leone. The trip was interesting. The people there have nothing. Extreme poverty looks pretty much the same in any country. The only difference in Sierra Leone was that the everyone you see is in poverty. You can't drive to the nice side of town. There isn't one. There are a few reach people, mostly foreigners, 95% of the Sierra Leonians live in shacks with no electricity, water, etc. The country side is beautiful. It's basically a rain forest climate with a rainy season and a dry season. We were there at the beginning of the rainy season.

Looking down Freetown from the embassy

About 1,000,000 people live in Freetown

The white building on the hill is a picture of the U.S. embassy. It's illegal to take a picture of it...at least the local police don't like it.

Waterfall (duh)

They have beautiful beaches.

One of the better paved roads

In town

Decisions

2007-07-31T12:49:00.000-05:00

I've decided that I go to church. What I mean is that I decided that from now on I am going to be the type of person who goes to church. In the two years that I've been married my wife and I have been to church less than 10 times. We went a few times right a first. We tried out a couple of different places. We just didn't keep going.

We finally decided that we'd had enough of not going to church. So now I go. I go every Sunday. So far I've been two Sundays in a row. I think I actually like it now. I even go to Sunday school.

I realize that my decision to go to church isn't really that interesting. It's significant to me though. I think this is the first time I'm going to church without guilt or the accountability of another. My wife works every other Sunday, so twice a month I'm going by myself.

Well, school starts in about three weeks. I'm dreading that. It's my last year though. I'll post some Africa pictures later.

Travel

2007-06-26T09:38:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I leave for Africa. My dad, step-mom, and sister have been living in Sierra Leone for the last 3 or so years. They're actually moving back to the U.S. this summer, so my wife and I are going across the ocean to see what they've been doing. It should be interesting to say the least. Sierra Leone is arguably the poorest country in the world.

It's kind of hard to be excited about visiting a place where everyone is hungry. There's a certain amount of guilt that comes from visiting underdeveloped countries. You can't help but feel inconvenienced by the fact that you have to drink bottled water and the electricity doesn't always work. I'll get annoyed while I'm there by the lack of modern conveniences, but I'll also feel guilty. I'll realize that I should be grateful for what I have. I might even vow to stop complaining once I get back to the states.

Normally on a trip like this my guilt would be assuaged by the fact that I'd be doing mission work. You know, usually you're running a vacation Bible school for little kids or helping someone build or repair a church. This time I'm going mainly to observe. I don't think I'll be helping much at all besides putting a little money into their economy.

Anyway, I'm posting a few pictures from my trip to Nova Scotia and New York this summer. This summer's turning into a summer full of trips. In August I'll be going to Colorado. I'd rather be going to Chicago...but my in-laws are paying for the Colorado trip, so I shouldn't complain. Oh well.

Hommon / Coly

2007-06-11T08:24:00.000-05:00

So I went to church this weekend at my in-laws church in my home town. It's a good church, but usually I don't get too much out of the service because I'm too busy laughing at the oddities and silliness. I'd be a better person if I'd just learn to worship without so much cynicism. Anyway, they had a guest pastor who was actually pretty good. He taught out of Ezekiel, which got my attention.

I actually don't remember what his point was; however, the verse he taught from made me think. Ezekiel 22:26 "Her priests have done violence to my law and have profaned my holy things. They have made no distinction between the holy and the common, neither have they taught the difference between the unclean and the clean, and they have disregarded my Sabbaths, so that I am profaned among them."

I realize the dangers of focusing on one Old Testament verse out of context. The verse just got me wondering if there is still a significant distinction between the common and the holy. Some things are clearly not holy, i.e. sin. I'm having a hard time coming up with common things though. I tend to think that almost anything can be holy. For instance, I like to think that God gave us humor, so when I make a joke making fun of the silly things people do in church, that's holy. I like to think the Jesus would be making the same kind of jokes while still appreciating the effort the churchgoers are making.

I'd like to think that there are holy things outside of church...nature for instance. I like to sit outside and just enjoy nature. I'd like to think that when I appreciate the beauty of nature I'm contemplating God's complexity and that contemplation is holy. Maybe anything can be holy so long as the person doing it or enjoying it recognizes that their activity is a gift from God.

My lax view of holiness doesn't really fit with the verse. If I was raised in a Catholic, Orthodox, or even just a higher protestant church I could probably come up with lots of holy things that were easily distinguishable from common things. I don't know. I feel a little like Walt Whitman...maybe I should just list off everything I see and proclaim it to be holy. Being a Whitman Christian sort of makes me queasy. Maybe if I went to church more often I wouldn't have this problem. My thoughts are pretty fluffy on this one.

Relief

2007-05-14T10:03:00.000-05:00

I'm relieved. I just finished my 4th semester of law school. Finals are over. The weight of all those textbooks has been lifted off my shoulders. I don't have to study a single page until August. All that brain power that I was using for school can now be used for more important matters.

With all this free time and energy, I've decided to make some summertime resolutions. The following are my goals for the summer, in no particular order:

1. Take some awesome pictures on my trips (I think I'll be traveling to New York, Nova Scotia, Colorado, and West Africa)

2. Lose 30lbs (It's time I walked a little lighter)

3. Help a certain friend of mine realize that free will is antithetical to salvation and a subtle form of heresy that, like fast food, tastes really good but isn't healthy and stunts your growth (If I can convince my friend, I think she can convince her husband (who's a little more stubborn than she is))

4. Read something interesting but not too intellectual

5. Do as much grilling as possible

6. Blog about the above

If I can accomplish those things, I think my summer will be a good one. I'm also working on a continual resolution to attend church more regularly. Anyway, I'm still thinking about where spiritual authority should come from for Protestants. Maybe there is not spiritual authority. That makes me uncomfortable though.

Authority

2007-04-24T10:09:00.000-05:00

I'm sure most of my loyal readers have given up on me every posting anything again. Well, I'm in the middle of final exams, so I don't have enough time to think about things to post. I was mulling over a thought that's haunted me for a few years. I'd like anyone who reads this to post an answer to the question:

"How can a protestant know what Biblical truth is?"

I really would like to know what you think. If you're reading this and you post an answer, get some of your friends to post answers also. Thanks.

"Aspire"

2007-02-16T11:35:00.000-06:00

Village sells street names to raise cash Oddly Enough Reuters

On behalf of my fluffy thoughts, I'm now accepting donations. It has come to my attention that a town in Budapest is offering to name its streets after anyone willing to pay. Well, Fluffy Thoughts is willing. All we need is the cash (or check, credit card, debit card, etc). Seeing as how I have already invested all my few and precious resouces into Fluffy Thoughts, I need your support in this effort.

I know what you're thinking, "Oh no, not another fundraising campaign. Is this cause even legitimate?" Don't be alarmed. Fluffy Thoughts is definitely legitimate. To prove our legitimacy, Fluffy Thoughts has adopted all the necessary elements for a legitimate fundraising campaign.

1. We have a fantastic title for our campaign: "Aspire". "Aspire" captures the idea of reaching up toward the clouds (which are fluffy) while simultaneously it embodies a sense of goal orientedness. Aspire to think fluffily; Aspire to make sacrifices so you can give more to Fluffy Thoughts fundraising: "Aspire"

2. Every good title needs a good slogan or mantra that can be repeated to yourself when you start to have doubts that you are giving your money away to a sham. The "Aspire" mantra is, "Fluffy Thoughts, where everybody knows its name." When we raise enough money, everyone (that is everyone in a tiny town in Budapest) will know the name Fluffy Thoughts. Imagine it, some Budapestian's address will be "110 N. Fluffy Thoughts Ave." The slogan also has an advantage of bringing back those fond memories of the TV show "Cheers", and like "Cheers", fundraising campaigns last much longer than anyone expects.

3. "Aspire" also has the essential element of clearly defined goals which seem unreachable, but we will continue to tell you that they are reasonable despite what common sense may tell you. "What are 'Aspire's' goals?" you ask. Well, our goals are broken down into clearly defined phases which are so complicated that you won't want to know all the details.
Phase 1 - In order to compile sufficient "materials" to help "Aspire" truly be successful, we need to raise 5,000.00 (the dollar sign has been deliberately omitted because the number looks much less painful without it). Phase 1 will cover "administrative" costs such as flying me to Budapest to take pictures of potential streets that could bare the Fluffy Thoughts' name
Phase 2 - 10,000.00. This will cover marketing of the name "Fluffy Thoughts" in Budapest and neighboring countries. The "Aspire" committee has determined that our efforts will be much more successful if we "soften" up the locals before actually purchasing the street.
Phase 3 - 50,000.00. Yes, I realize that this is a large sum of money, but is any number too big for God (that's right, God is a supporter of Fluffy Thoughts' "Aspire" campaign). The answer is "no". If God is for us, who could possible resist giving us money? Besides, you'll already be in the habit of giving a large portion of your income to "Aspire" by the time we get to phase three, so 50,000.00 really won't seem like that much money. Phase 3 will cover the actual costs of purchasing the street name plus some supplemental income for the "Aspire" committee and their strenuous efforts in this campaign.

If you can, please join us tomorrow night where we will have a time of worship and prayer followed by a sermon titled, "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands, including your income." You should receive your pledge cards in the mail soon. I invite you to give generously to "Aspire" and make this aspiration a reality.

Please make all check payable to "Fluffy Thoughts: Aspire Campaign"

YouTube - The Luke Johnson Phone Experiment

2007-01-31T19:40:00.000-06:00

So smart. I wish I'd thought of it. Although I don't know if I have enough anytime minutes.

YouTube - The Luke Johnson Phone Experiment

Vomit

2007-01-29T15:46:00.000-06:00

"U2-charist": Bono moves in mysterious ways Entertainment Entertainment News Reuters.com

Seriously, I don't think I really need to add much commentary. I can kind of understand it when some small independent protestant church sings U2 in their services...and youth groups can be excused for just not knowing any better...but seriously, this is the official church of England?!?

I think in an effort to incorporate all things truly British into the Anglican church they should pull up the carpet in the sanctuary and put down AstroTurf with football (soccer) markings on it. Many American churches already have concession stands in the foyer. Personally I think "concession" might have dual meaning. Maybe some anti-trendy emergent pastor could write a sermon about how selling coffee in the lobby of the church is a "concession stand" (like in the pro sports arena context) and they are also "concession" "stands" (meaning they've "conceded" to the secular culture of merchandising and selling people things they don't need and that's a poor message to "stand" for).

If it wasn't so cynical I think some mainstream pastors might actually use that idea. If it wasn't so cheesy some emergent pastors might use that idea. Oh well. The religiosity of U2 makes my stomach churn. If the Anglicans really want to spice up their services they should invite princes William and Harry. They could potentially be the head of the church. They might as well use their influence to attract junior high American girls to the flock of Church of England devotees while they're still in their prime.

Somebody should call James Dobson, and see if he'd put George W.'s daughters on the payroll. Just think how righteous it would be to have the head of evangelicals and the head of the republican party solidify their relationship through a feudal exchange of offspring. I bet the Bush daughters could do some guest spots on Adventures in Odyssey and maybe put out a few books on what it's like to drink really hard in college and then sincerely repent so you can help your dad become President while securing for yourself a position that guarantees you won't have to lift a finger for the rest of your life.

"This week on Adventures in Odyssey: Jenna Bush takes a trip in the Imagination Station and learns that Jesus actually turned the water into grape juice at the wedding at Cana. Mr. Whitaker catches Barbara Bush stuffing the ballot box at Whit's End and has a stern talk with her about what Jesus thinks about cheaters."

Slain in the Spirit

2007-01-24T14:47:00.000-06:00

ysmarko

My favorite is the machine gun effect.

Bandwidth

2007-01-17T09:39:00.000-06:00

I was glancing back over my past few posts, and I realized that I don't have many to glance over. This is largely due to a lack of bandwidth. Some of you probably don't know what bandwidth is except that more of it is better than less of it. Allow me to indulge my inner nerd and explain.

Imagine the connection between your computer and the Internet as a two lane highway. In one lane, cars carry information from your computer to the Internet (such as what website you'd like to see), and in the other lane you have cars bringing information to your computer (such as music from www.allofmp3.com). If you aren't sending and receiving very much information then the cars flow down the highway without incident. When you start sending and receiving lots of cars then traffic starts to build up and things slow down. If you build up enough traffic, all the cars pretty much come to a halt.

There are two ways to decrease traffic and increase flow. The first would be to increase the speed limit on the highway. A higher speed limit would allow cars to get from their origin to their destination faster. This works up to a point, but if their are enough cars even the autobahn will get a traffic jam. Eventually, you will need to expand the highway and add more lanes. If you expand the lanes from two to six then multiple cars can travel on the same highway at the same time in the same direction, and all will arrive their faster since they their won't be any traffic build ups.

Alright, now that you understand bandwidth, I need some. I need mental bandwidth. I think my brain is going about as fast as it can go, but I still can't think about all the things I need to think about. During the school semester, I spend so much time studying that it my brain is in traffic jams pretty much every minute of the day. With school taking up so much of my mental capacity, any other distraction can easily bring my mind to a bumper to bumper standstill.

Currently, I've got a situation at school I'm trying to resolve (my professor flunked me for not formatting my paper correctly), and I'm trying to keep up with my reading. Add to that a part-time job, a wife, a dog, and an ice storm that my school refuses to cancel class for and my brain can barely keep my vital organs functioning, much less think about things I'd like to think about or come up with anything interesting for this blog.

Anyway, my brain is shutting down now. Goodbye.

Hibernation

2007-01-04T09:21:00.000-06:00

Hello Fluffy Thought fans! I'm glad to be back. I realize it has been a while since I last posted any fluffy thoughts. November and December have traditionally been months when I mentally hibernate. Being in grad school requires me to shut down part of my brain and reserve my energy so that I can cope with the stress of finals. In case you were wondering, this semester I managed to cope better than past semesters. My eye only twitched for about a week and I only had to take sleeping pills for two weeks. Overall, I'd say it was a success, although I won't find out my grades until February.

Anyway, since I was intellectually dormant during the holiday season, I'd be negligent if I didn't pause to consider the true meaning of at least one of the holidays. Allow me to jump on the Happy Holidays v. Merry Christmas bandwagon.

Every good conservative Christian (Methodists, this doesn't include you) should proudly greet friends and strangers with a cheerful, "Happy Holidays." That's right, I recommend abandoning Merry Christmas for most encounters. Christmas is a wonderful and important holiday. It is steeped in tradition. It has its own songs, its own plays and musicals, its own decorations, its own foods, and even its own mythical beings (Santa, Rudolph, etc.). I think Christmas will hardly be forgotten if "Merry Christmas" is dropped for "Happy Holidays."

The most important reason to say Happy Holidays, however, is to remind people that there is more than just Christmas to celebrate. In fact, probably the third most important holiday comes right after Christmas, yet only a handful of people celebrate it. To which holiday do I refer? Not Hanukkah, not Kwanzaa. It occurs every year on January 1st. No, not New Years day. Who cares about New Years day?

The holiday that deserves great reverence yet goes practically unnoticed is The Feast of the Holy Prepuce. That's right. I'll type it again: The Feast of the Holy Prepuce. The Feast of the Holy Prepuce is a Christian holiday that occurs every year on January 1st. The feast celebrates the flesh of Jesus that remains on earth. What flesh of Jesus could remain on earth you ask? Well, if you are under 13 years old I ask you to stop reading and go IM some of your friends now. Thanks.

Well, if Jesus was Jewish then when he was eight days old he would have been taken to what we would now call Rabbis. They would have removed some of Jesus' skin in a Biblical ceremony called circumcision. That skin is called the prepuce. The Feast of the Holy Prepuce has been celebrated by Christians for centuries. For hundreds of years followers of Christ have recognized that the flesh of Christ remaining on earth is significant. Unfortunately, the Holy Prepuce went missing in 1983, so you can't make any pilgrimages to it. It's also unfortunate because it might have contained some viable DNA that could have been used to clone another Jesus. That's a subject for another time.

This neglected holiday deserves some recognition. I think Christians should start a Prepuce Eve service on December 31st where we sings songs to the Holy Prepuce and have a reenactment. The costumes from the nativity scene could be reused. Actually it'd be similar to the nativity reenactment except there would be no shepherd or animals and somebody would need to play the Rabbi and hold a plastic knife. Christian bookstores could sell additional figurines for nativity sets. They could issue a Rabbi with a little knife in one hand. I don't think it'd be a good idea to make a ceramic prepuce since it'd be so small it'd probably get lost...except for those life size nativities.

Instead of exchanging gifts, the head of the household could roast a turkey. As he or she carved the turkey he or she could explain to the children that just as the turkey is flesh and can be carved, so Jesus was/is flesh and was circumcised. Often times children think of Jesus as more God than human, and I think adding this ritual would help bring home the fact that Jesus was fully man as well as fully God. Each family would of course start their own Holy Prepuce traditions.

Anyway, next holiday season when you go to church, start telling people "happy holidays." When you see that shocked and offended look on their face, tell them the story of baby Jesus, just eight days old, and how we should be celebrating his prepuce. You might even invite them over for your turkey carving.

Day-Time Television

2006-09-29T12:32:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday I found myself at home in the middle of the day with nothing to do for a few hours. I turned on the television. I'm a television junkie. I can watch T.V. all day for days on end. Once, over a Christmas break, I didn't leave the house or change out of my pajamas for seven days straight. I laid on the floor with my head propped up on a pillow watching T.V. When I couldn't find the remote, I slid my arms across the floor like a snow angel...the remote had to be within my reach because I hadn't moved all day. All that to say that I can be entertained by even the most boring television programs.

So last Thursday I turned on the T.V. My remote control allows me to preset my favorite channels in case I'm to lazy to actually press the numbers on the remote. I tried all of my preset stations (all 16 of them) only to find there was nothing worth watching. Instead of turning off the T.V., I dared to venture into the "in between" channels.

What I found was astonishing. Those terrible channels that I never watch are actually highly entertaining in the middle of the day.

Channel 1: Infomercials are often mildly entertaining, but mostly repetitive and dull. Well Seven Day Miracle Cleanse was anything but dull. Can you imagine going ten years without brushing your teeth? Would you consider not blowing your nose for 15 years? Of course not! Well, I bet you've never cleaned out your colon. That's right folks, your colon needs to be cleaned regularly just like every other orifice. With regular colon cleansing you can lose weight, feel better, have softer skin, cure diseases, and have a longer lifespan.
Check it out: http://www.7dmc.com/

Channel 2: Friends, I'm here to let you in on a unique opportunity. Just this morning I was faxed this contract from the Country of Israel. That's right, from Israel. As you know, Daystar has always worked to minister to Christians and non-Christians around the world through the medium of television. God has blessed us with a wonderful opportunity to be the first all Christian television network in Israel broadcasting to Israel 24 hours a day.
You can be a part of this special ministry. The Israeli government has sent us this contract via fax. All we have to do is raise $1,000,000.00 today. We just need you to give as the Lord leads. If 1,000 people each give $1,000.00 we can meet our goal.
This offer by the Israeli government is only good today. If we can raise this money today not only can we be the first all Christian network in Israel but the Israeli government has secured for us an office building for our broadcasting studio on Mount Zion. Thats right, we can be broadcasting in the Holy Land from Mount Zion itself.
http://ww2.daystar.com/Daystar

Little Things

2006-09-22T13:15:00.000-05:00

The last eleven days have seemed a little mundane. It's the little things that make things interesting though. I've decided that I should provide illustrations to enhance my fluffy thoughts. Everyone like illustrations. I love photography, but don't expect too much. Most of the pictures of the little things in my life were taken on my cell phone which equals poor quality. Anway...

I was driving to work on Wednesday morning. I have to drive due east to get to work. Unfortunately, at the time of day I go to work the sun is directly in my eyes. I'm not talking about a little annoying glare. I'm talking about blinding, direct sun rays. I couldn't see a thing. I couldn't tell what color the traffic lights were or if the school zone lights were flashing on Wednesday.

As I was turning left into the parking lot at work I noticed something on my right. My mind couldn't quite comprehend what it was. Usually when you see a traffic accident there are fire trucks and police cars with there lights flashing. However, on this occasion the accident happenend right in front of me. I parked and got out to see if everyone was alright. A couple of joggers from the neighborhood had stopped also.

It turned out that everyone was alright, but it's still pretty freaky to see an acident like this one. Notice the sun in the first pic.

I've got another car story I'll post later once I've processed it mentally.

E.R.

2006-09-11T10:10:00.000-05:00

My medical insurance is pretty good. My wife is a "medical professional" so we are covered for just about everything. However, our health care plan doesn't have any local Doc in the Boxes. Until Thursday, this didn't bother me.

On Thursday, my wife and I were out shopping for a new mattress. We were hungry but facing the cost of a new mattress dissuaded us from eating out. Instead, we went home, and I volunteered to cook something. I was in a hurry because we were both hungry. I was chopping onions, and while chopping, I looked to make sure the stove was on. As I turned my head to the side, my right hand pushed the knife through my left thumb.

The E.R. is a prime example why communism doesn't work...At least not well. E.R.s around the country must see every patient that comes through the door. They cannot turn you away for any reason. So, they take patients that can't afford to pay.

I think it is a wonderful idea for anyone to have access to modern medical care. However, this system has made the E.R. inefficient and dreadfully slow. They have no incentive to go faster. If you go to a restaurant (which I should have done on Thursday) and the service is exceptionally slow, you might leave, or at least you might not come back again.

If you have a medical emergency and you go to the E.R. and the service is slow, where are you going to go? If you're the type of person who believes that you should pay your bills (which I am) then you can only afford to go to a place your insurance covers. If the E.R. your insurance covers is slow, you can't afford to go to another one...And the E.R.s know this. They have no monetary incentive to go faster or be efficient.

I arrived at the E.R. around 7:15pm. The woman at the desk was on the phone talking to someone that I think was her boyfriend. After she failed to acknowledge my presence I proceeded to try and fill out the admission form with my one good hand. At 7:20pm I handed her the form. She looked at it and motioned toward the herd of patients.

I joined several people in watching Mexican soap operas until my name was called at 7:45pm. I was excited that I would be taken care of so fast. A nurse took me into a room, took my name and information, and, for the first time since I arrived looked, at my wound. She then told me to go back to the waiting room and wait for my name to be called again.

I returned to my soaps and waited. At 8:45pm my wife became impatient. She asked the lady at the front desk (who was now off the phone) when I would be seen. They said that my name was next on the list and that it shouldn't take much longer.

At 9:05pm my name along with six others was called. I was escorted to a large examination room. The nurse came by at 9:15pm and told me to make myself comfortable. She familiarized me with the television and handed me the remote. She said the doctor would be in shortly.

At 9:45 the doctor arrived. He said that I didn't need any stiches. All that needed to be done was to keep it clean, use plenty of neosporin, and wrap it in gauze until it heals.

At 10:00pm I left the E.R. with gauze around my thumb. It took three hours to wrap gauze around my thumb. Seriously.

Empathy/Sympathy

2006-09-08T11:11:00.000-05:00

September 11, 2001, I was asleep. Well, I wasn't asleep the entire day. It was a Thursday, and I was a freshman in college. I don't think I had any classes until sometime that afternoon. I woke up around 11:00 am and I stumbled into my dorm showers. After I got ready to go eat lunch someone asked me, "Did you just get up?" I answered, "Yeah, why?" I didn't think it at all unusual for a college freshman to sleep in until 11.

He exclaimed, "You haven't heard about the planes in New York?" "Planes in New York? What about planes in New York?" He told me what had happened. I didn't have a T.V., so I walked to the library which usually had a T.V. playing CNN. I saw the replays of the planes flying into the towers. I thought, "Is this for real?"

Later that day I saw fliers about prayer vigils and special chapel services that were going to be held. I ignored them. Friends of mine repeated the phrases they heard on T.V. like, "This will be an event that will define this generation," or "This is going to change are country," and over and over I heard, "We will never be the same." I rolled my eyes.

I have a problem with empathy and sympathy. I don't mean that I think empathy and sympathy are bad. Empathy is putting yourself in someone else's shoes. Sympathy is sharing in the feelings of another. I substantially lack the ability to put myself in other people's shoes in most situations. I tried to feel the impact of September 11th. I tried to realize the tragedy of all those lives that were lost. I wanted to be enraged that anyone would commit such an atrocity. But I wasn't enraged or mad or shocked. The best I could come up with was, "That's too bad." I tried sharing the feelings of those who lost someone dear to them. I couldn't. I couldn't even imagine what it would have been like to lose someone. I tried.

Everyone was concerned and scared. People wondered if college campuses could be a potential terrorist target. I didn't. I was calm. I couldn't figure out what was so scary. I knew that what happened was real...but it didn't seem close. It felt distant and remote.

I'm not an uncaring person. I cried like a baby at my grandfather's funeral. I even cried during a Jerry Bruckheimer movie. I get so mad when I see abused children that I could kill their parents. I just can't seem to connect to this catastrophe. I've seen ground zero in NYC. It was big. Maybe if I could have seen the building burn in person I'd feel different.

Don't get me wrong, I think the attack was a terrible thing. I think the victims and the heroes that tried to save them should be honored. I just don't know how to respond. I'd like to feel something, but I don't. I just don't know how.

Money (Part I: Tithe)

2006-08-30T09:13:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine (http://www.claytonius.com/) recently sent me a good article (http://www.theooze.com/articles/article.cfm?id=1149). I've got a lot of thoughts about money. Unfortunately, they are too jumbled to put down into one post, so I'm going to break them down into parts. Part One, the Tithe.

I think tithing is a good thing. I think the Bible is pretty clear that my "first fruits" should be given back to God. It's not like God needs it. He's got everything, and I only have what He's given me. My thought is tithing is primarily for my benefit.

I've had people tell me that if I give 10% to God, God will "bless" me financially several times over. Personally, I think that's ridiculous. I suppose God could be a sort of CEO with the Holy Spirit acting as the Chief Operations Officer and Jesus as the Chief Financial Officer. Maybe Jesus has calculator...Maybe it's one of those fancy graphing calculators. It's probably the same calculator He uses to figure out how many jewels I'm going to get in my crown.

There's probably a whole division of accountant angels in charge of logging all transactions and keeping God's books. Tithing is really just a God tax. I don't know if their are any tithing breaks...You know...Maybe you get a rebate if your a pastor or a missionary. There's got to be some sort of monetary incentive for sending your kid to private school...Or better yet, homeschool! I bet missionaries in the 3rd world only owe about 2%, if that. It would seem kind of petty for God to tax pastors and missionaries. I mean their income is post tithe income.

I'm sure there's subset of accounting angels that do audits and investigate fraud. Think about it. I bet the same angels that audited the medieval popes audit those teleevangalists. That could be an interesting job.

Anyway, I think the benefit of tithing is that it reminds me that 1) I need to trust God with everything, 2) God is the one who provides for me, and 3) There are others who need my money. These three reasons might seem odd (or poorly formulated), but I think they get to the issues.

Giving away my money requires me to trust God. It's not easy to give away a percentage of my income...Especially if unexpected things happen, like car repairs. However, in giving money away, I realize that God has always provided for me. That's easy for me to say coming from an upper middle class white family in America. It'd probably be harder to believe that in countries where people starve to death. Those starving people, and many others, need my money more than I do.

The main thing I want to know is where should my tithe go. Most churches tell me my tithe should go to them...If I was the church I'd probably tell you to give me your tithe also. I'm not sure about that though. Can I give my 10% (I'm assuming 10% for now, although I'm not sure about that either) to a third world missionary? How about supporting a child in an impoverished country? Can I give it to the Salvation Army or the Red Cross? Must my money support someone who is specifically spreading the gospel, or can I give it to anyone who is helping the poor and needy?

Part of me thinks that helping the poor is a worthwhile cause no matter who is doing it. I like to give my tithe to the electric company. My electric company has a fund that is used to help people who can't afford to pay their electric bill. I like giving money to them. It's easy (I can do it online when I pay my bill), its anonymous, and the poor get something they really need (air conditioning, which is needed in Oklahoma in the summertime).

Maybe I should give my tithe to my church and give even more to the starving people. Maybe I shouldn't give any to the starving people but instead give it to a building campaign so the other parishioners can have adequate parking and butterfly atrium. Any thoughts?

Casual Friday

2006-08-25T12:40:00.000-05:00

I'm in school, but I have a part time job. When I got hired they told me that dress was business casual, meaning slacks and a collared shirt. "On the plus side," they said, "Friday is casual Friday." I asked, "What does that mean?" They said, "You get to wear jeans and a collared shirt." To which I responded, "Oh."

First, what is it about jeans that makes them casual? Sure, they're sturdy and comfortable. They go with almost anything, and they don't need to be washed after just one wear (the proper frequency of washing jeans is up for debate). Why can't jeans be considered formal wear?

Second, why difference does it make if one day a week I get to wear jeans? I mean, is it that big of a privilege to wear jeans? Right now where I live its over 100 degrees outside. It'd be a blessing if I was allowed to wear shorts, but jeans? Seriously, its just a different material. Normally I wear linen khaki pants (I'd like to take this moment to recommend linen pants or even linen suits, especially for those in warmer climates. They are quite comfortable.)

Third, why do I look forward to casual Friday? I admit it, I do. I like being able to wear jeans. It makes me feel more relaxed, more laid back. Why? I don't know. Anyway, that's what's on my mind.

Chestless

2006-08-21T09:02:00.000-05:00

I told my wife last night that I didn't have a chest. She just looked at me quizzically. I gave her a brief explanation of how Plato viewed the person. Plato thought that there were basically three parts to the self.

The first and lowest part was the passions. The passions were centered in the loins. The passions included most emotions and desires like hunger, lust, tiredness, etc. The passions were mostly associated with physical needs.

The third and highest part was the mind. The mind is centered in the head. The mind reasons and learns. The mind can make rational decisions and figure out what is best for the body as a whole.

The second part is the will which is centered in the heart or the chest. Plato thought that the mind should decide what's best for the body. It was the will's job to take what the mind had decided and enforce it on the passions. The will is an enforcer of sorts.

C.S. Lewis wrote an essay about men without chests. Plato's model was basically what Lewis was talking about. I think my chest is defective. I know that I'm defective by nature as a result of original sin. I'm not sure to what extent I'm depraved.

Perhaps I'm completely and utterly depraved, or at least I started out that way. Maybe my mind, will, and passions are all corrupt. I'm certain my passions are corrupt, and my will seems to fail me fairly often. I'm not sure about my mind.

I know sometimes my mind makes mistakes. My mind's mistakes could be explained by my mind being finite. I don't have an infinite mind so my mind can't do everything or do everything right because there's only so much mind to go around. A mistake wouldn't necessitate it being corrupt though. It could be finite but not corrupted.

Maybe God regenerated my mind completely and now my will and passions are slowly being sanctified. What I mean is that maybe God has restored my mind, but He's slowly restoring my will and passions. Or maybe my mind was never corrupted. Maybe everyone's mind is free of corruption, and God just has to begin to regenerate our wills and passions.

Any thoughts on the self or corruption?

Prope

2006-08-17T14:23:00.000-05:00

Admittedly, I'm a Protestant with a Reformed bent. However, a little over a year ago I became a semi-convert to Roman Catholicism...for a day. I was required to read an article by a Russian historian. The article was basically a synopsis of why Roman Catholics and Protestants were clearly in error and Orthodox Christians had it right.

The main critique of Protestants was that they (we) have no authority. We have nothing infallible. Sure, we have the Bible, but that clearly requires interpretation. Of course the Holy Spirit aids us in interpreting the Bible, but we have no one true interpretation. The more I thought about this lack of authoritative interpretation the more I wanted it. I wanted to know whether I should be dunked or sprinkled. I wanted someone to tell me that Spiritual Gifts are more than just the gift of "helping." I wanted answers.

It started to make me angry that all of these silly Protestants were running around preaching whatever they felt like. It made so much sense to set up an authority structure who could decide once and for all that God's call is irresistible and that "once saved, always saved" was an unnecessary cliche developed by short sighted Wesleyans. We needed a Protestant Pope (Prope?) to rule over the dissenting divisions. A Prope unite all Protestants. It'd keep disgruntled parishioners from starting a church across the street.

A friend of mine helped me come to my senses. He helped me realize two things: 1)I don't want a Prope so much as I want to be Prope. I think a Prope would be awesome so long as it was me. A Prope that wasn't me would be fine too, he (or she) just couldn't make me believe anything I didn't want to believe. 2)We're all fallible. This foundation of Protestantism keeps us from having infallible authority.

A Prope really doesn't work if he (or she) is fallible. No body listens to a fallible guy in a funny hat. If anyone's got ideas on where authority can be found, I'd love to read it.

Microphone Syndrome

2006-08-16T11:09:00.000-05:00

If you've ever had the opportunity to be in or work on a stage production of any kind you may have seen or experienced microphone syndrome. Its an interesting phenomenon. If you put a person on stage by themselves with a microphone and no audience, the person will begin to speak. The person will continue to speak even though no one is listening.

I think people just like to hear the sound of their own voice. Hopefully that's not all I'm doing. Besides, hearing the sound of my own typing or reading my words on the page isn't near as gratifying as hearing my voice echo through an auditorium.

First Day

2006-08-16T11:00:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the first Fluffy Thought post. In many ways its like the first day of school. I'm a little nervous and I don't know who my friends are yet. I'm hoping not to embarrass myself.

This blog will be my thoughts. The thoughts are fluffy in that I may have some interesting observations, but those observations will be accompanied by plenty of fluff. Hopefully you'll wade through them.

I welcome your comments. This blog will hopefully evolve into something interesting. Peace.