On behalf of my fluffy thoughts, I'm now accepting donations. It has come to my attention that a town in Budapest is offering to name its streets after anyone willing to pay. Well, Fluffy Thoughts is willing. All we need is the cash (or check, credit card, debit card, etc). Seeing as how I have already invested all my few and precious resouces into Fluffy Thoughts, I need your support in this effort.
I know what you're thinking, "Oh no, not another fundraising campaign. Is this cause even legitimate?" Don't be alarmed. Fluffy Thoughts is definitely legitimate. To prove our legitimacy, Fluffy Thoughts has adopted all the necessary elements for a legitimate fundraising campaign.
1. We have a fantastic title for our campaign: "Aspire". "Aspire" captures the idea of reaching up toward the clouds (which are fluffy) while simultaneously it embodies a sense of goal orientedness. Aspire to think fluffily; Aspire to make sacrifices so you can give more to Fluffy Thoughts fundraising: "Aspire"
2. Every good title needs a good slogan or mantra that can be repeated to yourself when you start to have doubts that you are giving your money away to a sham. The "Aspire" mantra is, "Fluffy Thoughts, where everybody knows its name." When we raise enough money, everyone (that is everyone in a tiny town in Budapest) will know the name Fluffy Thoughts. Imagine it, some Budapestian's address will be "110 N. Fluffy Thoughts Ave." The slogan also has an advantage of bringing back those fond memories of the TV show "Cheers", and like "Cheers", fundraising campaigns last much longer than anyone expects.
3. "Aspire" also has the essential element of clearly defined goals which seem unreachable, but we will continue to tell you that they are reasonable despite what common sense may tell you. "What are 'Aspire's' goals?" you ask. Well, our goals are broken down into clearly defined phases which are so complicated that you won't want to know all the details.
Phase 1 - In order to compile sufficient "materials" to help "Aspire" truly be successful, we need to raise 5,000.00 (the dollar sign has been deliberately omitted because the number looks much less painful without it). Phase 1 will cover "administrative" costs such as flying me to Budapest to take pictures of potential streets that could bare the Fluffy Thoughts' name
Phase 2 - 10,000.00. This will cover marketing of the name "Fluffy Thoughts" in Budapest and neighboring countries. The "Aspire" committee has determined that our efforts will be much more successful if we "soften" up the locals before actually purchasing the street.
Phase 3 - 50,000.00. Yes, I realize that this is a large sum of money, but is any number too big for God (that's right, God is a supporter of Fluffy Thoughts' "Aspire" campaign). The answer is "no". If God is for us, who could possible resist giving us money? Besides, you'll already be in the habit of giving a large portion of your income to "Aspire" by the time we get to phase three, so 50,000.00 really won't seem like that much money. Phase 3 will cover the actual costs of purchasing the street name plus some supplemental income for the "Aspire" committee and their strenuous efforts in this campaign.
If you can, please join us tomorrow night where we will have a time of worship and prayer followed by a sermon titled, "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands, including your income." You should receive your pledge cards in the mail soon. I invite you to give generously to "Aspire" and make this aspiration a reality.
Please make all check payable to "Fluffy Thoughts: Aspire Campaign"
2 comments:
I can only imagine what it would be like to step out onto a street called Fluffy Thoughts. This looks like a good capital campaign. I think the only thing missing is a good slogan for all our friends who don't speak English. I mean, isn't Fluffy Thoughts a one body, two arms organization? How are you going to raise funds from our friends from just south of the border? I was a little rusty on my español, so I looked up the word "aspire" in a Spanish-English dictionary. Interestingly, in Spanish, the word is "aspire." I hope it won't cost too much more to have your logo printed with both names on it.
Have you budgeted for aerial photographs and promotional magnets?
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