E.R.

My medical insurance is pretty good. My wife is a "medical professional" so we are covered for just about everything. However, our health care plan doesn't have any local Doc in the Boxes. Until Thursday, this didn't bother me.

On Thursday, my wife and I were out shopping for a new mattress. We were hungry but facing the cost of a new mattress dissuaded us from eating out. Instead, we went home, and I volunteered to cook something. I was in a hurry because we were both hungry. I was chopping onions, and while chopping, I looked to make sure the stove was on. As I turned my head to the side, my right hand pushed the knife through my left thumb.

The E.R. is a prime example why communism doesn't work...At least not well. E.R.s around the country must see every patient that comes through the door. They cannot turn you away for any reason. So, they take patients that can't afford to pay.

I think it is a wonderful idea for anyone to have access to modern medical care. However, this system has made the E.R. inefficient and dreadfully slow. They have no incentive to go faster. If you go to a restaurant (which I should have done on Thursday) and the service is exceptionally slow, you might leave, or at least you might not come back again.

If you have a medical emergency and you go to the E.R. and the service is slow, where are you going to go? If you're the type of person who believes that you should pay your bills (which I am) then you can only afford to go to a place your insurance covers. If the E.R. your insurance covers is slow, you can't afford to go to another one...And the E.R.s know this. They have no monetary incentive to go faster or be efficient.

I arrived at the E.R. around 7:15pm. The woman at the desk was on the phone talking to someone that I think was her boyfriend. After she failed to acknowledge my presence I proceeded to try and fill out the admission form with my one good hand. At 7:20pm I handed her the form. She looked at it and motioned toward the herd of patients.

I joined several people in watching Mexican soap operas until my name was called at 7:45pm. I was excited that I would be taken care of so fast. A nurse took me into a room, took my name and information, and, for the first time since I arrived looked, at my wound. She then told me to go back to the waiting room and wait for my name to be called again.

I returned to my soaps and waited. At 8:45pm my wife became impatient. She asked the lady at the front desk (who was now off the phone) when I would be seen. They said that my name was next on the list and that it shouldn't take much longer.

At 9:05pm my name along with six others was called. I was escorted to a large examination room. The nurse came by at 9:15pm and told me to make myself comfortable. She familiarized me with the television and handed me the remote. She said the doctor would be in shortly.

At 9:45 the doctor arrived. He said that I didn't need any stiches. All that needed to be done was to keep it clean, use plenty of neosporin, and wrap it in gauze until it heals.

At 10:00pm I left the E.R. with gauze around my thumb. It took three hours to wrap gauze around my thumb. Seriously.